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Thursday, December 1st, 2005

Subject:=)
Time:12:01 am.
Mood: okay.
Music:Night Drive - Jimmy Eat World... I like just this song. ^_^.
19 years old.


Happy Birthday. ^_^
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Saturday, November 26th, 2005

Time:11:58 am.
Wonder if anyone still even cares.
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Friday, October 21st, 2005

Subject:And... Done.
Time:3:10 am.
Mood:Broken.
Music:The music of my head.
So... Maybe it's time I updated.

Recently I wish that I still had the number of like half the dealers I used to know. For those of you who know me and know my past... This is not a good thing. I mean, everything should be good and I should be happy. Right? But, even if I have the most wonderful people in the world in my life I still... Want that one "friend". I have been jonesing so bad and it really isn't funny. It makes it even better because I almost work right in the heart of the easiest place in Dallas to get it, and it really is taking everything in me to fight the urge to ask someone where I can get a fix.

Like I said, for those of you who know my past... This is not a good thing. I need a good swift kick in the ass. Figuratively speaking that is. You kick me in the ass I'll break your leg.

I will be turning 19 in less than two months. One of those stupid ages where the thrill of being 18 has worn off but you still have to wait to drink, not that I really would even when I turn 21. I hope 19 goes by fast. 18 wasn't as great as it was supposed to be. Then again, I probably had really high sights set for it, and then everything kinda crumbled around me. I didn't get to finish school... I slacked off when it came to working. I fell into deep deep deep depression and I really haven't gotten myself fully out of it. I had always hoped that the life I thought loved a year ago was actually how things were going to turn out. And part of me is all "I'm glad..." But then the other part is still... A little shattered. That's fair right? I have every reason to feel that way. Anyway, when everything is said and done... I don't really know how to finish that sentence because right now there is no ending.

I know this is long and most people probably wont read it. I mean, who keeps up with online journals anyway. Then again, with like half my friends... It's the only way I actually can keep up with their lives.

The downfall of going to school out of state. You come back and you feel so out of place. It's been... 6 months and I still havent fully come around. I miss everything I used to have where I knew everything that went on in peoples lives. Not that I am nosy, it's just... It made me feel good. Like I was a wonderful friend that people actually came to and told me what was going on. Recently I haven't been feeling like that...

I miss the maturaty I thought I had. It made me feel like the world was at my feet and I could do anything... And now, I feel like just another pawn in the world. Then again, I guess I am right? I have so many things I want to do... And don't get me wrong I'm working toward them... I just found myself, falling into a newfound laziness that I never felt before and I am finding it hard to remove myself.

I wish I really was a better friend.
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Friday, June 17th, 2005

Subject:I wish
Time:7:37 pm.
I wish the person who I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with would just show up at my door...

It would make everything better.
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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

Subject:The most brilliant man...
Time:1:27 am.
And the amazing things that came from his head.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
Douglas Adams

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
Douglas Adams

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
Douglas Adams

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Douglas Adams

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
Douglas Adams

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams


Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Douglas Adams

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
Douglas Adams

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams

Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
Douglas Adams
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